Episode XXXI: Shoots & Leaves

Last weekend I went with some brothers (say 10 or 15) to The Middle of Nowhere, MO for some camping on a friend’s sprawling property, which included a forest, cornfield, pasture, pond and stable (oh, and a house). In one sense we were roughing it, as there was no running water, fire pit, electricity, etc. On the other hand, we were a quick five minute drive from our hosts’ house, where they fed us a full (and I mean full) three meals a day, consisting almost exclusively of homegrown and homemade delights. Here are some highlights of the trip:

- We arrived at around 11pm. I stayed around the campfire until 4am, when it began to rain. It did not cease to rain, sprinkle, drizzle or at least threaten to precipitate for the remainder of the trip.

- For the first time ever, I went four-wheel-driving in the mud. I was sitting in the bed of the truck, and let me tell you, my t-shirt has some mud stains that may never come out.

- I shot my first firearm! That’s right; it took me just over a year of living in the Midwest before I started shootin’ stuff. We were shooting clay pigeons, and I got one on only my second try!


- I played the only game of pool (as far as I can recall) in which I won without even having to make a single shot.

- During a game of tackle football, one of the guys got his nose broken in half. Not that it came off or anything, it just got seriously broken. He returned from the hospital the next day in good spirits and health.

- On Sunday we took a side-trip to see the house of WWI General John J. Pershing.

- On the way back home we passed through the “home of sliced bread”, and stopped by Maxie, the World’s Largest Goose



Oh the things you will see (and do) in The Middle of Nowhere, MO!

Episode XXX: Stocks & Bonds

Today’s post is designed to inform, not to entertain. If you would like to be entertained, you should check out this beat-boxing flute player.

Stocks

Almost ten months ago I set up a Roth-IRA account, with which I could do my own stock- market investing. I am happy to announce that finally, I am back in the black! That is, my retirement account is no longer losing me money. The historical graph below shows how I managed to make an impressive 0% return on investment while the broader U.S. market made almost 10%.


And now, if you would like to try to replicate my results, I will give you two simple, tried-and-true methods:

#1: Pick amazing stocks. I do not mean, “pick good stocks”, or even, “pick great stocks”. I mean, pick AMAZING stocks. These are stocks that do things like go up 100% in one year, or 25% in a quarter, or perhaps even 10% in a day.

#2: After you pick out a nice little basket of amazing stocks, you must trade them like crazy. The more often you buy and sell, the heftier the brokerage commissions will be. In addition, the more buying and selling you do, the more likely you will be to miss some of the gains of your amazing stocks. In fact, if possible, try to trade so often that you break SEC rules and are assessed a fine.

A fairly easy game-plan, no? Only two simple rules! If you diligently follow these two investing rules, I can guarantee you many decades of financial stagnancy and underperformance.

Bonds

My favorite sports story of the year so far is about Barry Bonds’ record-setting home run ball. The ball was purchased by Mark Ecko (founder of ecko urban clothing brand) for over $700k. He then had fans vote on the fate of the ball, and the final decision was to imprint the ball with an asterisk and donate it to the Hall of Fame. How funny is that? The free market in action!