Episode XLIX: Road Trip!

Last weekend my friend Thomas Kuhn and I decided, while it was still summer, to take an unrehearsed, unstructured tour through the heart of Kansas. Here are some highlights.

The first stop, and the only stop that would really be considered a “conventional” tourist attraction, was in Abilene, Kansas to view Dwight D. Eisenhower’s memorial library, museum, resting place and childhood home. It was a very nice place in a fairly small town. I really came out of the museum admiring the man as both a general and as a President.

For the rest of the journey you must understand that we were in the middle of Kansas, and that the middle of Kansas does not have much in the way of natural wonders, historic places or cultural significance. Therefore, most of the places we visited were either oddball, weird, kitschy or a combination of the three.

For instance, in Minneapolis, KS there is a place called ROCK CITY (!) where one can pay three bucks to play among these natural oddities of large granite rocks strewn about a field the size of a couple of football fields.

Or take the town of Lucas, Kansas, which houses the Folk Art Museum, displaying only oddball pieces of art, such as an exhibit inspired by toilet seats and outhouses. Meanwhile the most famous attraction in Lucas, and inarguably the weirdest attraction in central Kansas, is a place called the Garden of Eden. Basically, this guy owned a house in the middle of town, and he decided to start building a bunch of large (maybe 30-foot-tall) concrete sculptures around his house, inspired by themes from the Bible and populist politics. The “garden” itself is quite a work, but the kicker (on the weirdness scale) is that the guy built himself and his wife a mausoleum in the backyard, where visitors can view his body in a glass coffin.

We camped at a lake with a lovely view and lots of privacy. We managed to grill ourselves some delicious meat and enjoy the lovely evening. Unfortunately, around 3 am, a ridiculously powerful storm came through and pounded us, so much so that both Thomas and I had to stand up inside the tent and push against it for over a half-hour to prevent it from completely collapsing upon us. When there was finally a lull in the storm, we abandoned our soggy ship and spent the rest of the night in the car. When we woke up in the morning, it was another beautiful day.

Finally: the event around which the whole trip was planned. It pretty much speaks for itself, no commentary needed. For in the small town of Cawker City, my friend, can be found the WORLD’S LARGEST… ball of twine!